You are not your mind

Why do I meditate? To slow my thoughts down and remind myself I am not the thoughts that I think. I am not my mind. I am a soul travelling through this human life. I am consciousness with an earth suit. I just finished reading ‘The Untethered Soul’. It is a wise book about how we need to detach from everything we think we are to find peace. It resonated so much especially the chapter on death.

In the book it says ‘If you are living every experience fully, then death doesn’t take anything away from you’. We are given a gift to be living at this time. Each breath is a gift and we need to remember that. We need to live our lives not as if we are going to be able to do things some day. We need to live each day as we desire. We are not here to trudge through the drudgery of life. We are here to have fun. We are here to experience pleasure. We are here to love, feel, move and find joy in every day.

The past few weeks have forced me to come to terms with my own mortality. I had a skin check which lead to a very early stage Melanoma being found, then skin being removed and 12 stitches on my back. Now it is all removed I am 100% cured. I had a week where I had to wait for results. In this week I really faced off with how much I want to be on this earth. How much I want to experience in the future, how much I want to enjoy motherhood and see my little one grow up. I also realised I need to stop worrying so much about the small stuff and slow down the constant thoughts about the future. I need to keep following my bliss and enjoying life.

Life is not going to happen in five years when I am living in my dream home. It is not going to happen when I reach that next milestone, it is not going to happen when I find my purpose in life. Life is this moment right here, life is happening right now. All I need to do is be here and enjoy it. Enjoy the journey and spend less time worrying about how things will work out.

Motherhood After Loss

I am sitting here writing from my couch with a little munchkin that has just fell asleep in my arms. Lucy is almost eight months old. I am quietly reflecting on what it has been like as a mother to an earthside child. For those of you that don’t know me, I gave birth to my first child Hamish two years ago this month. He was stillborn, wrapped in the umbilical cord, the cord that was supposed to give him life unfortunately took it from him. I was nine months pregnant and so ready to meet him. I got to hold him for a number of hours over a few days and say goodbye.

Becoming a mother again has been such a different journey. A journey that I couldn’t be more grateful for. Each waking minute I am with Lucy I give thanks for the blessing of her presence. Lucy burst into the world full of life on the 6th of February this year. Lucy is the most chilled out baby. She has a lot of energy though and is always on the move. She wakes up smiling every morning, knowing what a privelige it is to be alive. She pours her beautiful love all over Greg and I daily and we are so lucky to be her parents.

My heart is so full. I am learning so much from motherhood this time around. I feel like Hamish choose me as his mum and I have work to do in the world to keep fulfilling his purpose. With Lucy it is my job to create a loving, safe and present home life for her to thrive. I am here to be there for her through these years of her childhood. To feed her, to comfort her, to be home. That place she can always rest her head upon. The one that will pour unconditional love all over her daily.

I have learned these past eight months that my mission is clear. I am here to be her mother. To love and be kind. To share my heart with others. To be a example of what mindful motherhood is. To do the best I can. To honour myself as a woman, mother, sister, wife and friend. To share meditation and mindfulness with those around me. To be in alignment with my soul. To keep surrounding myself with those that are living a heart centred life.