Motherhood After Loss

I am sitting here writing from my couch with a little munchkin that has just fell asleep in my arms. Lucy is almost eight months old. I am quietly reflecting on what it has been like as a mother to an earthside child. For those of you that don’t know me, I gave birth to my first child Hamish two years ago this month. He was stillborn, wrapped in the umbilical cord, the cord that was supposed to give him life unfortunately took it from him. I was nine months pregnant and so ready to meet him. I got to hold him for a number of hours over a few days and say goodbye.

Becoming a mother again has been such a different journey. A journey that I couldn’t be more grateful for. Each waking minute I am with Lucy I give thanks for the blessing of her presence. Lucy burst into the world full of life on the 6th of February this year. Lucy is the most chilled out baby. She has a lot of energy though and is always on the move. She wakes up smiling every morning, knowing what a privelige it is to be alive. She pours her beautiful love all over Greg and I daily and we are so lucky to be her parents.

My heart is so full. I am learning so much from motherhood this time around. I feel like Hamish choose me as his mum and I have work to do in the world to keep fulfilling his purpose. With Lucy it is my job to create a loving, safe and present home life for her to thrive. I am here to be there for her through these years of her childhood. To feed her, to comfort her, to be home. That place she can always rest her head upon. The one that will pour unconditional love all over her daily.

I have learned these past eight months that my mission is clear. I am here to be her mother. To love and be kind. To share my heart with others. To be a example of what mindful motherhood is. To do the best I can. To honour myself as a woman, mother, sister, wife and friend. To share meditation and mindfulness with those around me. To be in alignment with my soul. To keep surrounding myself with those that are living a heart centred life.